In the back of my mind, I am constantly thinking about weight loss, health, dieting and all related aspects. I have officially started to get my mind right as far as health is concerned. And have decided to set my self some goals. I have a list of things that I need to be finished with or close to finished with by June 30, 2012. Why June, you ask? Cause my birthday is July 8th and I will be 30 and it's before we all die...and refuse to not have these tasks completed by then.
The main thing is to get my health in order. Starting slowly with weight loss. And the weight loss is more for vanity at this point. I was thinking about what I used to look like in HS, and I was thin. In fact, I was thin most of my life. Until I turned about 22-23. That's when I started to pick up weight and even then, I wasn't terribly heavy, just heavier. When I graduated HS, I probably weighed at most 120. When I was 22-23, maybe about 140, possibly 135...not terrible. Still could shop at the teen stores. Once I hit CSUS, I started to gain more. About 150-165...after I passed 180, I really just got lazy and didn't care. So, basically I have spent most of my twenties, in a body that doesn't feel or look like mine. Well, now I am at a weight, that is truly a jump away from the 300s. I could turn around one day and be so overweight, I would die of sheer vanity and embarrassment. Now, I'm pretty tall, I'm about 5'8, so to weigh 200 isn't that unheard of. However, I am also unhealthy. I know that when the women in my family are at their proper size, they are built small. So I really don't have a "big boned" physique. I should be flat all over. I should have a flat butt, and small boobs. No hips, and bony legs, but thicker thighs. But I don't. I'm round all over at this point. Basically back to my weight loss for vanity, I was talking to my mom, and telling her my goals. And how I basically wasted the best years of my life being fat. I am a very sexual person, not that I like to sleep around, but that I enjoy a nice looking body. And if you got it flaunt it. Well, with me being larger than I would like, I have wasted my hoochie dressing years cooped up in a fat suit. So I am going to get it together and get fit, so I can spend the next few years, before I "grow up" dressing like a cheap whore. Fredericks catalog is going to be my main shopping post. You can beat your sweet ass!
So what I have decided, is I will slowly start making life changes, one of the first is to cut out soda. That to me is hard, but easy at the same time. It's all about making the right choices at the right time. At my job, drinks are free and we serve Pepsi. I have been drinking iced tea. I hook it up with hella Splenda and lemon. But I do it. And while I'm at work I DO NOT drink soda. Today I also made the effort before bowling to bring food with me. Usually I buy something there, but today, I took leftover burritos and my water bottle. I also made some cookies for Heather's bday and ate 2 at the alley...and 1 at home (I have to taste test, right?). I think I am getting used to not relying on fast food. I just have to stop being so lazy and put in 5 extra minutes to bring my lunch or dinner, wherever I go.
Next step is the gym tomorrow! First day in a LONG time. I know I will be feeling like this.
Lord help me and wish me luck. I just bought tickets for a meet and greet with Travie McCoy...I really must be looking somewhat decent now.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
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